I am terribly ill. My eyes feel heavy, my nose is twitchy, and I keep nodding off. My Ladies Maid kindly suggested it might be that I was simply tired, but after I repeatedly beat her with my umbrella, she saw sense and agreed that it was definetly-
THE DREADED LURGI
Thats right! For weeks now, speculation has suggested that Britains will be struck down by a truly deadly diease. They are calling it peacock 'flu, and I'm sure that it will strike down AT LEAST 3 people. I myself must now retire to bed to wait out this dreaded illness.
On a lighter note, the lurgi HAS killed 18 million poor people. Hip hip hoorah for Britain!